Monday, January 28, 2013

Making Cookies For the First Time in 20 Years


Strange title I know.  It is the thought that I had the other day when I made cookies with my teenage daughter.  It had literally been 20 years.  My wife had asked for a divorce and we had been separated for more than 6 months.  Kind of a Sunday night tradition of making cookies had stopped obviously.  Funny I could not remember making cookies since forever.  I don’t think I ever made them in college; perhaps it was before my mission.  Don’t get me wrong, I have eaten my fair share of cookies.  My wife’s sister used to make the best cookies, but she hasn’t been in town for a couple of years.  Also the other day I bought Shampoo for the first time in I don’t know how long.  I’ve been with my wife when we have purchased it together; you know what I mean… but have been pre-marriage since the last time that I went to the store to purchase that kind of stuff.  Women are better; I don’t like what I bought my wife always bought the best smelling stuff.  I’m sure it wasn’t cheap, as nothing she ever bought was inexpensive. 

So here I am, 20 years of marriage about to end (this week).  How do I start to pick up the pieces?  It is not a total wreck; I have my health, a good job, and three kids that love me.  I have started to troll the online dating sights, sounds creepy I know.  My heart breaks so much for the lonely single people.  It is not what any one has chosen.  Therapist number 3 (My wife and I went to three therapists) gave me a great advice, for the record I like all three would recommend any three of them to anyone.  It just so happens that the third was one that my wife has shown an ability to finally keep consistent appointments with and tends to listen.  I don’t think that she was any better than the others just that the timing finally has worked.  Regardless T3 (the third therapist) told me it was OK to look forward to life after divorce, but to not engage in any relationship work prior to the divorce.  It feels good to have been faithful to the very end.  Not the reason I’m writing just my way of expressing how strange the thought of seeing women is at this point in my life. 

Had a great phone conversation this last week with my friend the Pilot, he always helps me to gain perspective regarding the eternities.  We have literally been friends since we were 3.   We always pick up where we left off, understand each other, and he makes me laugh.   Our short conversation helped me to look forward to the new life ahead, he reminded me that I don’t have a hard time meeting girls and there are a ton of girls that I’d be over the moon to date.  Makes me happy. 

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