Words With Friends

Waking up bitter, wondering how many mornings I have woke up bitter in the last 3 plus years.  Probably less than you might think.  Having been in a marriage where my wife has been cheating on me for that time (3 years) and then confronting her on numerous occasions only to have her deny it you’d think more.  Strangely being a day away from my divorce being final I would have some sort of relief, however had a flood of memories this morning as I lied in bed knowing that I needed to be up soon to take my daughter to seminary. 

My memory this morning was mother’s day this year.  I had found in February 2012 a letter between her and Thomas Scott, in the letter she expressed her love for him and how she couldn’t wait to see him and talk to him etc… blah blah, just hurtful things.  The other thing that I had discovered was that she was playing words with friends with him.  I asked her to stop and of course she said she was very sorry, and would never have interaction with him again.  She also said that she wasn’t having an affair and that she wanted to be married.  Things were better for a couple of days, but before too long she was back to being distant and we were just trying to survive.  I had made real commitment to having family prayer, studying scriptures, and going to the temple.  Of course this always helps me; I had peace and was healthy.  Our Marriage was still a shit show as she would behave erratic, never supported me or the kids in any church type function.  Her focus was her business, and everything else was just noise.  If the kids didn’t want to attend their Wednesday night activities she didn’t encourage them to go, in fact helped them to not attend.  The kind of stuff that I suppose happens at other houses, but that no one would ever talk about.  Anyway Mother’s Day.  I’m in the kitchen have the grill heated up and am about to put on the steaks.  I hear her phone chime as it was left on the island in the kitchen, I look down and its words with friends… it is her move as Thomas Scott has just made his move. 

She was upstairs lying in bed or something self-indulgent; it is Mother’s day after all.  I went upstairs told her that her mother was on her way, the steaks were on the grill, the asparagus was in the oven, and that Thomas Scott had just completed his move.  I then told her that I could no longer put up with her cheating.   I left, drove out to Thomas Scott’s house and wondered if it was appropriate for me to interrupt his wife’s Mother’s Day with a visit.